June 1998
We all experience the stresses of juggling our work and personal lives. We often feel tired and pulled in many directions and it seems as if there's never enough time to get everything done. But there's a positive side to all of this. As one parent says, "Looking forward to seeing my family at night softens the impact of any negative things that happen during the day. I really enjoy both parts of my life."
Roles play off each other. There's a good deal of evidence that despite everyday stresses and tensions, both men and women derive a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment from simultaneously having wok as well as other roles and responsibilities in their lives. In fact, people's involvement in many roles seems to increase their satisfaction with each one. In fact, the more a woman likes her job, the better her self-image and the more she enjoys her life.
Researchers have found that the busiest women are not necessarily those who feel the most stress. Instead, their jobs energize them rather than drain them, and also give them a sense of vitality. In fact, most women like their jobs for the same reasons men do: they like the challenge and stimulation, the opportunity to learn new things and the interaction with their colleagues. They also like earning money, since so many are supporting themselves or making a big difference in their family income.
Buffering has a positive effect. Not only does involvement in multiple roles augment the good, but the juggling of life also offers ways to dampen the bad. Family responsibilities buffer the impact of negative events at work, and can buffer problems at home. However, multiple life roles don't automatically assure happiness. The quality of each role is important too. If you have a miserable marriage and a terrible job, neither role will help the other be more bearable.
"Buffering" works this way: If things aren't going well and you feel inadequate in one place, you often have the comfort of knowing that you're ok in the other place. Events in one area of your life can also put events in other areas into perspective.
Variety is the spice of life. Having different roles provides us with the change and balance we need in our daily lives. We need to see many different faces and hear many different voices. We need a change of room and places. Even the office tedium (or chaos) can provide a healthy change from domestic tedium (or chaos). If people don't experience variety in their lives, they're liable to get discouraged. For that reason, whatever our status in life---single, married, with or without children---we need to balance our work with relaxation and enjoyable activities that will bring us in contact with many other people.
Take the long view. It would take a lot of pressure off all of us if we acknowledge that there probably can never be such a thing as perfect balance in our lives at one specific moment. Over time we can anticipate problems and possibilities in every aspect of our lives---potential triumphs and trade-offs---that we will find ourselves dealing with at different points in our life cycle. And when we think of balance, we should remember that well-being in no way means as absence of problems in one's life. Rather, it means a life in which, for most domains and for most of the time, the rewards outweigh the difficulties.
Source: Susan Ginsberg, Work & Family Live, Vol. 12, No. 3, March 1998.
Source: Work & Family Life,Vol. 12, No. 3 March 1998.
Most people think stress is unhealthy and should be avoided at all costs. What gives stress a bad name is not the condition itself but our response when we are exposed to it. Traffic congestion, difficult people and tight deadlines aren't destructive-only our emotional and physical reactions to them are dangerous. These experiences don't have to be so stressful once we learn to react in more positive ways to emotionally-charged situations.
The Work-World Athlete
In today's work world, we are increasingly called upon to behave and perform much the way professional athletes do. The similarities between the two are so substantial that workers, especially business and education employees, could be termed work-world athletes.
The big difference between professional and work-world athletes is that only professional athletes consciously train for the hardships of the playing field. In doing so, they develop specific skills that allow them to summon on command their ideal performance state.
Work-world athletes can achieve their own ideal performance states, and minimize negative reactions to difficult situations, by taking steps to shift their thinking in stressful situations. The most successful people deliberately or inadvertently develop three skills to reduce or eliminate stress and sustain an ideal performance state.
Herbert G. Lingren, PhD
Extension Family Life Specialist